Blackout magic

Japanese Banking Crisis

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

While Samurai Bank fell on its sword, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Even Miso Bank is in the soup, and an audit of the Tofu Bank is turning up questions about it's REAL assets.

The only ray of light in all this is the arrival of a new bank rising out of the ashes of the others. Its name - Hiroshima Savings - and their slogan - "we've survived worse than this!".

Its merger with the Teppanyaki Bank is still hot and on the table.

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because it recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing the road together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
Chicken shall not shit while crossing the road. This is for a green environment.

LEE KUAN YEW:
We have installed crossing lights at all traffic junctions. All chickens should follow instructions while crossing the road.

SAMY VELLU:
Gantry points have been set up. All chickens wanting to cross the road are advised to top up their cash cards first.

NAJIB RAZAK:
What chickens? I don't know any chickens... especially those from Mongolia.

ABDULLAH BADAWI:
We have to be fair to all chickens. Some want to cross over the road, some do not. ........ Zzzzzz .......zzzzzz ....... Now what were we talking about? Ah yes, chickens. We will form a Royal Commission to decide whether it is right for them to cross the road.

MAHATHIR:
Now even non-bumi chickens want to cross the road! How can they disrespect and disregard apa nama bumi chickens? We must be allowed to cross over first. It is our special privilege and no one can challenge that!

ANWAR:
We have enough chickens waiting to cross over in September.

Pic Credits: Tiphane

Malaysia, Politics, Chicken

Predictions: Why a Geek will steal your girlfriend in 2008

Why a Geek Will Steal Your Girlfriend in 2008.

This is really funny!
But is this true? Have you lost to a Geek?

Hell Call

How much would it cost to (telephone) call Malaysia from Hell? You'd be surprised!

Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and Ahmad Badawi die and go to hell. But the devil has only one phone there. Queen says, I miss my England , can I use your phone and hear how my people are doing down there.

She calls and talks about five minutes. Then she asks: Well devil, how much do I owe you for the call? The devil says: Five million pounds. She writes him a cheque and goes back to her chair .

Clinton wants to make a call too. He says I wanna call the US . He talks about ten minutes, then asks how much do I owe you devil? The devil says Ten million dollars He also writes a cheque and goes back to his seat.

Badawi is jealous. He says I want to call Malaysia . He calls and talks for about an hour to his son-in-law who is busy trying to find Mr.Petronas. Then he asks the devil how much do I owe you? The devil replies: only one dollar. Badawi is shocked and asks 'why so little?'.

The devils says: if you make a call from one hell to another, IT'S LOCAL CALL.

Badawi, Malaysia, Humor

Avril Flip Flop

IT SEEMS THAT AVRIL is not TOO SEXY, after all for Malaysia.

MalaysianInsider reports: "The authorities have reversed their decision to cancel a concert by Canadian pop-rock star Avril Lavigne, saying today that she can perform next week despite complaints her act is “too sexy”.The ministry’s secretary-general, Muzahet Masruri, said today that authorities decided after talks with the concert organisers that Lavigne “can do the show” next week, even though the government would still have preferred a different date.Muzahet declined to give a specific reason for the decision, but he said organisers told the government that they had already sold thousands of tickets and that the cancellation could hurt tourism."

My guess is - the Minister's daughter or the SG's daughter scolded their daddies for the dumb decision since everyone know Avril ain't too sexy even for Canada!

In the mean time everyone in the world - is having a laugh at us because our government is THAT stupidoto.

Our Malaysian Clerks

Letter from LHDN This truly is a real classic!!

A True story...

A taxpayer called up the LHDN (Inland Revenue Board) in Terengganu, and asked for Form B. The LHDN clerk who answered the call asked for the address to send the form to. The conversation goes:

LHDN CLERK : "Boleh bagi alamat encik?" (Can you give me your address?)

TAXPAYER : "Hantar ke Ranhill Worley." (Send to Ranhill Worley)

LHDN CLERKI : "Ranhill... eja macam mana?" (err... How to spell Ranhill?)

TAXPAYER : "R.. for Rumah... A for Ayam.. N for Nangka... H for Holland ... I for itik... L for lain- lain...." (spelling)

LHDN CLERK : "Ok.. nanti kami hantar ke alamat tu" (OK, we will send to that address...)

After waiting for a week, the form arrived - have a look at the address on the envelope!!!



Technorati Tags: Malaysia, Clerks, Spelling, Humor

Soon to be a major motion picture

The Attack of the Giant Brassiere

I know men are obsessed about somethings they don't have, but the creator of this World's largest bra is beyond obsession to pure madness. Is he waiting for some ads for sponsorship?
Don't you think Hooters mights be the right people to approach.

For Couples: The Secret

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.

They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. 'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

A Prayer......

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man,
love to forgive him, and patience for his moods;
because Lord, if I pray for strength,
I'll beat him to death, because I don't know how to crochet!


Technorati Tags: Humor, Marriage, Jokes

Adam & Eve

3 Malaysians were looking at a painting of Adam and EVE.

The Chinese man said 'They must be Chinese because they look calm, even when there is a snake around.'
The Malay guy said "They must be Malays because they are so good looking."
The Indian said "They are definitely Indians. They have no clothes, no shelter, they are advised by a snake to share one apple & told that they are living in Paradise."

Technorati Tags: Malaysia, Race, Humour

(Source Singapore Straits Times)
Credits: CupCo